Even though we are all source awareness ( a Timothy Conway phrase) the mind still plays it’s tricks. I am dedicated to see my sadhana through. I believe in a relative life after death and relatively we are souls; it is just a label but it seems to help at the moment.
After completing an online forum where one is guided to see through the self; the ‘self’ as a struggling mind still arises all well and good here and with it certain compulsions to alleviate suffering aka chronic tension. Thankfully I am working with this relative shadow self. I am observing the personnas in this cylce of dealing with them. I am not fighting them off or trying to fix things.
This all seems so slow to ‘me’ after so many joyful openings and peace. But it ain’t over till it is. Paradoxically it is over and never began lol from the absolute view.
I am using a mantra again, one given via email from a seasoned well educated realized person. Email you may say. Yes and from my 25 years of spiritual endeavour with grace it’s powerful and helping smooth some kundalini issues I’ve had.
As a man I admire says ‘see you on the flip side’.
Photo by Serge Govier
Innate joy; just tap into it no need to be a Master, as you already own it.
Any one who has suffered intense pain knows how it just takes over all of experience. My back went out yesterday. I’ve experienced this before, the stabbing pain is all consuming and yet here was this ‘I’ awareness holding this. Knowing this awful pain.
Bliss or pain….. awareness is there always….our true nature. No effort required for awareness, our ground to be known.
Realizing it is the wide open space for everything to be.
There is no self, just this experience as it is from moment to moment. A patterning on and in a screen of nothing.
A vibratory web or net of ever changing conscious energy; a continuous surge of becoming, being and evaporating.
Without a centre.
‘I’ as awareness is that which remains as its objectless self unchanging. Once realized that ‘I’ the ego mind of identification which is ever changing thought, memory, experience, body attachment is not you but rather the awareness ‘I’ is, peace and silence become more pre-dominant in moments especially where others are absent.
Then there is the realization that all this is in fact you….this ‘I’ awareness. The material paradigm is a nonsense all is Awareness, Consciousness, Self. A sense of other collapses.
Love and joy then become more of an on going experience. As everything is you and all is as it should be moment by moment by moment.
Keep being aware that all that is sensed is sensed by objectless presence. Everything and everybody encountered is done so by sensing, there are no ‘things’ outside that. Even with psychic phenomena that to is only experienced by our senses.
Sensing is only known in awareness. Sensing is awareness. Hence all perceived things are this very same awareness. Hence not two, non duality.
I have no interest in cars as long as mine runs OK and each journey is safe… that’s it. However I do tend to attract folk who are really and I mean really into cars. I’m more of a UFO, Reiki, Ley Line type of guy. I lend my ear to these petrolheads as my partner’s son is also one of these types and when we meet at least I have material to chat about.
It’s all one Consciousness patterning petrolheads, UFOlogists, LGBT, corrupt politicians, Saints and sinners……what a play!
One just has to read Bishop Berkeley, Rupert Spira and Sri Ananda Krishna Menon then contemplate their words to understand there is no separate self, or an objective world.
All is indeed an intimate experience of sensing, which is really Awareness as itself.
Shakti or the modulation of Shiva/Consciousness is our energetic body that is within us as the chakra and nadi system as well as our aura. Shakti is also the same energy that patterns others and the ‘outside’ world.
Taking this train of thought to a realization there is an equality, a total sameness between ‘inside’ and ‘outside’. In the game the play of Shiva/Consciousness it modulates the Shakti within us via its own/our experience over lifetimes. Some eddies of energy form knots within the chakra/nadi system; a result of the separate self play. So we get ego identification with likes and dislikes.
The journey back to our Self is merely untying the fundamental knot of identification or false separate idea by self inquiry aka contemplation to see if a separate i.d. is the case.
It can appear that this first knot can be re-tied…maybe. Else it’s just a case of having patience as the other knots, after the first, release during a life time and there is more peace, joy and fearlessness displayed as we go about our daily life.
I had some previous experience of spontaneous movement qigong which was weird. The insight was there is an energy…chi that moves us and if we relax sufficiently this chi/energy moves the body in certain ways to release tension and open energy pathways or meridians as well as energy spots or chakras. These movements are not premeditated they happen by themselves.
Spontaneous qigong was a precursor to experiencing shaktipat. I feel and believe shaktipat is merely receiving the same energy…chi, but in a really amplified form.
So I sat reading this book ‘The Knee of Listening’ (see Part 1 in this series) and prayed to the Divine to experience the same as the students of Nityananda had received i.e. shakti. Within seconds my body began moving quite vigorously as I looked at a picture in the book. I was sitting as this happened, while practicing spontaneous qigong I had stood through the process.
Over the next weeks and months I relaxed into a sadhana where I sat and as soon as I did kundalini kriyas would move my body into yogic postures, there would be speaking in tongues, energy would be felt running in my spine and I experienced past life recall. Each session differed from the last.
A part of me thought I was going mad, another part felt relaxed and had confidence in the process having gone through the qigong exercises earlier.
Today the kriyas are more subtle compared to those early days. In a way looking back I wish I had had a guide, but the theme of my spiritual path so far has been working alone; mainly with esoteric books and my own inner energy.
Next I will write about my journey with Reiki and how this enhanced in particular ways my earlier experiences with the shakti.