Self Honesty with Awakening.

Life after awakening varies due to the depth of settling into the awakened state and what life (and past lives) has been like before the events of the conscious shift. If one has had a difficult childhood there may be unresolved issues in the mental and more so emotional body to be seen and thus naturally dissolved as they are reviewed.

In the past I don’t think many awakened folk have talked about this openly; though I now see increasingly, thankfully, more mature and realistic discussions on forums as well as recently published books on the after awakening process and its mental/emotional integrative elements.

The first mentor I had did not lay on the table of our first meeting his continuing life struggles after illumination.  Only through subsequent visits did I realize this person still had problems. This was upsetting to me as there is a ‘super’ person image portrayed in the non dual scene that once there ‘you’ are sorted.

A false ‘sorted’ image is seen to be often maintained to keep up appearances after awakening especially amongst peers.

This can lead to difficult unresolved incursions from the shadow self that can take an awakened person by surprise. In some cases this can cause them to unfortunately fall back into depressive compulsive states and even worse provoke them to suicide.

I still have remaining issues to sit with and give my attention to. Mary O’Malley’s books have helped me see that giving space or a curiosity for compulsive habits causes them to dissolve. Before I read her work I was more a fixer and did many self help programs to ‘improve’ myself.

I continue to read self help books, as I like to see what’s out there and compare and contrast ideas…..maybe another compulsion!  The difference now is from earlier years is I have now had realization shifts that show me there is no ‘me’ except in a relative sense. Absolutely…. I am. There  is a deep confidence that this is the case that needs no affirming from another.

Again to reiterate earlier old patterns still need ‘integrating’ for many of us. A term I use after Michael Brown creator of  ‘The Presence Process’. Thankfully I will never be a super man just a person from a an ordinary Midlands town who has by happen stance seen through the false identity of the relative persona. In that insight there increasing joy and peace.